A Tear Stained Letter
by Anime Girl23
Summary: Hikaru and Kaoru have always been together in their own little world. But now that the barrier has been penetrated, the twins are drifting apart...and only one of them notices. Now, the other is about to find out in a way he never expected.


Hey, everyone! I hadn't planned on writing a Host Club fanfic, but has that ever stopped me from writing any of my stories? Nope.

This is my first Host Club fanfic. Also, I've never written a fanfic that so much as hinted at incest, so please be nice.

Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Ouran High School Host Club.

A Tear Stained Letter

One-Shot

**_H_****_itachiin Mansion_**

"Kaoru!" Hikaru called, walking through into the foyer.

Hikaru had woken up to find Kaoru locked in their bathroom telling the elder brother to go to school without him. He hadn't liked it, but he had listened to his little brother.

He had spent most of the day fretting over his counter half. Now, as he walked down the silent halls to their room, Hikaru felt something gnawing at him, something he couldn't identify.

"Kaoru," Hikaru called again, ignoring the feeling. Opening the door to their bedroom, he tossed his bag and jacket onto a chair. "You'd better be in—Kaoru?"

Kaoru wasn't lying in their bed like he should have been. He wasn't even in the room and the door to their bathroom stood wide open. "Kaoru?"

Walking closer to their bed, a folded sheet of paper caught Hikaru's eye. Scrawled across the front was his name, written in Kaoru's neat handwriting.

Slowly taking the paper into his hands, he unfolded the sheet. While the words should have been the first thing he caught sight of, they weren't. Damp drops were scattered across the paper. He felt his chest tighten. Kaoru had been crying.

Finally tearing his eyes away from the tear stains, Hikaru's eyes found the beginning of the letter.

_Hikaru,_

_I know that you're probably confused and worried. I'm sorry. I know that this is sudden, but I had to leave. Things here…I couldn't handle it anymore. _

_The world that you and I had created was disappearing and we were drifting apart. Watching you grow closer to Haruhi, I could feel something eating away at me and it hurt. I was losing you. My worst nightmare was coming true and, for once, I couldn't wake up and have you telling me that it was okay. I wish it was simple enough to tell you how I was feeling, but I couldn't. I know you, Hikaru, and I know that if I had told you, you would have dropped everything and shut yourself off again. I couldn't let you do that to yourself._

_Please, Hikaru, you have to know that there was nothing you could have done. This was going to happen. Even if you had noticed, I still would have left. Yesterday, watching you in the haunted house, I knew. We had been together for so long that we could barely function without the other._

_Do you remember when we were eight? Mom and Dad were trying to move us apart and they had wanted to take us on two separate vacations. Dad was going to take you to New York and Mom wanted to take me to London. We cried and screamed that we didn't want to go and ended up locking ourselves in our room, huddled together in a corner. They never got us out of that house._

_When Tamaki told us about the Host Club, I was happy. I knew that even though you were happy with me, you wondered what it was like to be with other people. I thought that by joining the club, you could have a better life than the one you had with me; a world of seclusion._

_I hadn't thought of how I would feel in the outcome. I wasn't ready to let you go, but by the time I realized it, it was too late. Tamaki, Hunny, Haruhi, and everyone else had taken down our shield and while I was afraid, you embraced it. I was scared of what would happen, but not you. You were always the brave one. That's why I looked up to you; I still do._

_I almost wish that I had stayed one more day so that we could host one last time. There was one thing I loved about being in the Host Club. It was our act. Brotherly love, the forbidden love, whatever the girls wanted to call it; we played two brothers that were closer than society would accept. _

_Hikaru, there's something you need to know. It wasn't an act for me. Call it what you want. Disgusting, wrong, incest, it doesn't matter. It's probably true. But for me, I didn't care. As long as I had you, I was okay. But watching you drift away—drift away to Haruhi—I couldn't take it. It was killing me._

_I can say in full honestly that I don't blame you or Haruhi for my leaving. If you had known, maybe I would, but that's just it, you didn't know how I felt and neither had Haruhi. You can't be blamed for something you didn't know you were doing. An accident; that's what it is._

_I can only ask one thing of you. Don't look for me. Maybe one day, we'll find each other again, but not here, not now. I'll tell you one thing. I'm leaving Japan. It has too many memories and I need to try and let them go._

_If the others ask, just tell them I had to get away._

_Hikaru, I know that you're probably hurt and angry. You have every right to be. I'm so sorry._

_I could sit here and write for hours, but I can't. You'll be home from school soon and I need to be gone before then. I guess this is good-bye._

_I love you, Hikaru._

_--Kaoru_

Tears trickled down Hikaru's face as he read his brother's final good-bye. This was it. No more pranks. No more fighting over whose turn it was to answer Tamaki's calls. No more Kaoru.

No more Kaoru.

Hikaru's legs shook for a moment before giving out and he fell to a heap beside thei—_his_ bed. It wasn't their bed anymore. Kaoru was gone. Looking at the paper, Hikaru couldn't distinguish which tear marks were his and which belonged to his brother. The splotches were identical, just like they had been.

"Kaoru," Hikaru whispered through his tears, burying his face in the soft blankets that covered his bed.

"I never got to tell him," Hikaru whimpered. "I love him, too."

_The end._

Anime Girl23: And there you have it!

Kaoru: I left!

Hikaru: I cried!

Anime Girl23: Yes and yes. Anyway, please review. I'm an aspiring author and I need to know what people think of my stories.

Thanks for reading!


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